Category Archives: Quotes

Some Favorite Quotes

I’ve been collecting these for a long time, it’s been edited a bit.

“If you have some problem in your life and you need to deal with it and use religion, fine, if you have a problem, fine, I use Google.” Simon Amstell

“She will remember your heart when men are fairy tales in books written by rabbits” – Shmendrick (The Last Unicorn by Peter Beagle)

“I don’t drink the Obama Kool-Aid” – Jon Meacham, Author, “American Lion: Andrew Jackson in the White House”

“There is no dept of HAPPY in Washington DC.” – Herman Kane

“As a rational human being, Al-Qaeda are a loose association of psychopathic zealots who could be rounded up with a sustained police investigation. But speaking as a parent, they’re all eight foot tall, they’ve got lasers under their mustaches, a huge eye in their foreheads and the only way to kill them is to NUKE every country that hasn’t sent us a Christmas card in the the last 20 years!!” – Bill Bailey (Part Troll)

“Most voters under 40 think Socialists are people who spend a lot of time on Facebook.” – Bill Maher

It’s a great big universe and we’re all really puny, we’re just tiny little specks about the size of Mickey Rooney. It’s big and black and inky and we are small and dinky, it’s a big universe and we’re not. – Animaniacs

We have no important enemies. What we need to do is to begin to deal with the rest of the world as equals. And we don’t do that. We spend more as a nation on defense than all the rest of the world put together. Who are we afraid of? Who are you afraid of, Brian? I’m not. And Iraq has never been a threat to us. We invaded them. I mean, it is unbelievable. – Mike Gravel

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. – Oscar Wilde

Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still cant help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

It’s not getting what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got. – Sheryl Crow, “Soak Up the Sun”

A well informed man would not ask this. Everyone knows why. However, if you are the only person so ill-informed as never to have heard, I’ll admit it is better for you to ask once in your foolishness than for you to go on any longer in ignorance of what you ought to know. – The Prose Edda of Snorri Sturluson

I learned there are troubles of more than one kind.
Some come from ahead and some come from behind
But I’ve bought a big bat, I’m al ready you see.
Now my troubles are going to have trouble with me.
– Dr. Seuss

You can tell a lot about a fellow’s character by his way of eating jellybeans. – Ronald Reagan

The warm love between a man and a woman can’t be frozen like tuna!

If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then give up. No use being a damn fool about it.
– Dilbert comic

The learned fool writes his nonsense in better language than the unlearned, but it is still nonsense. – Benjamin Franklin

Darn you! Darn you to everlasting heck. – Dilbert comic, by way of Spiffy

Why are you eating my carrots? – Mark Weber, Allentown Buisness School

Don’t do anything illegal, immoral or fattening. – Dr. Laura

‘Tis true, ’tis pity and ’tis pity tis true.

Sparky, no matter what anyone tells you, you can never have too much sugar. – Michael

If God didn’t want us to eat animals he wouldn’t have made them out of meat. – Phillip (Goats.com?)

Two days ago the day after tomorrow was yesterday. – Mark Weber, Allentown Business School

Take a second now, it will save a minute later. – Michael A Renninger II

Don’t spend $2 to dryclean your shirt. Take it to the Salvation Army instead. They’ll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for 75 cents. – Mitch Hedberg (I think)

The wireless telegraph is not difficult to understand. The ordinary telegraph is like a very long cat. You pull the tail in New York and it meows in Los angeles. The wireless is the same, only without the cat. – Albert Einstein

I can’t wait until this set is over because I have a roll of lifesavers in my pocket and pinapple is next. – Mitch Hedberg again

When someone’s boobs are in your face, how can you see their soul? – Victoria Jackson

Become informed! Tyrants fear an intelligent citizenry. – Bumper sticker

“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the cat, “we’re all mad here. I’m mad, you’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
“You must be, “said the cat, “or you wouldn’t be here.”
– Lewis Caroll, Alice in Wonderland

People who live in glass houses … shouldn’t walk around naked.

Danish Proverb: Bad is never good until worse happens.

My cat’s breath smells like cat food. – Ralph Wiggum, Simpsons

A broken heart [is] a good deal like a bad tooth… thought you won’t think that a very romantic simile. It takes spells of aching and gives you a sleepless night now and then, but in between times it lets you enjoy life and dreams and echoes and peanut candy as if there was nothing the matter with it. – Lavendar Lewis, in Anne of the Island (or Anne of Avonlea, not sure?) L.M. Montgomery

Mice feel nice for breakfast. – Sara (Wischnewski) Miscavage

Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is about as effective and trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

You know sniffing that fluid isn’t as good as drinking it. – Mark Weber, Allentown Business School

There is no point in being well-rounded. – Daniel Lewis Nice

Ritual Quote List 8

Quotes 5-7-97
1. Would you light my cigar? ….I think that I dropped my tic-tacs.
2. Woo hoo?
3. This is Bohemia, home of the world’s biggest chocolate covered coffee bean
4. I will NOT yield!!!!!!!!!!!!
5. And now for something completely different….
6. I fear no flourescents!
7. The caffeine machine!!!!
8. I only have 1 more Gupta class (this is Cristi)
9. Bill Cosby as the Angel of Redemption =)
10. Hiroshi and Daisuke are dead…..(along with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern
11. The Jolt Soda has a really cool lightning bolt going through it…

Ritual Quote List 7

1. It is not we who are crazy. It is we who are mad!
2. I am the S.P.O.A.P.T I speak for the caffeine.
3. Webpages….Webpages…go and get your gifs and your jpg’s.
(to the tune of Bill Cosby’s “Picture Pages”)
4. Ranma 1/2 rpg homepage: http://www.early.com/~neaner/rpg/rpg/index.html
5. Erin’s always on-line and if she’s not she’s on the phone! with one of the scores of her “boyfriends”
6. snow->spring->snow?
7. Major changes
8. Varma must be sacrificed to the great gods of differential equations.
9. Advisement….Scheduling…Lines…all the classes you want are filled! YUCK!
10. I just hate it when acrylic paint gets in my hair.
11. Ditto for oils.
12. Lisa’s on her way:)
13. Neaner’s homepage should be reserved for halloween…she put all of our pictures on it 😮
14. RRrruffles have RRrridges.
15. Be happily sedated with Nyquil.
The stuffy head, sneezy, sniffily, coughing, what the hell am I doing on the floor medicine.
16. Erin thinks she’s going away for the summer.
17. Be prepared, I’m coming soon to take your life.
18. Will Mulder and Scully get together? Find out next X-Files.
19. Spiffy’s conscience–long story e-mail us and we will be happy to explain:)
20. Starring Paul J. Gallo as Mephistophiles and Cristi M. Miller as Clarence.
21. Erin is a big flirt and neaner is not far behind next is lil ole me.
22. And well then there’s Cristi.
23. Flogged for Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.
24. Sugar, Honey Ice and Tea.
25. I just don’t GET it! (valley girl accent required produced by a blond preferably)
26. Ask Nean to Demonstrate.
27. Enemy Mine
28. Why does it snow in April?
29. Shut up….I don’t want to hear about snow…we are supposed to have global WARMING!
30. For over 75 years, there’s been one candy that’s extraordinarily rich. Smooth, creamy. long lasting…Pearson Nips.
31. Cristi is becoming a Horse??????
32. Not a Horse…hoarse(her throat)
33. Charge, I say.
34. Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman
35. Too much sugar for Cristi!
36. Look out….she has a Jolt and 6 giant pixie sticks!!!!!!!
37. Hide the Fun Dip!!!!!
38. Cristi is a pinball:) boing…boing…boing…flip…flip…boing
39. No not the cow puters.
40. Have you found the Imposter M&M yet?
41. You will never find it because it painted itself blue!
42. Hello Kitty is evil, Keroppi is Hello Kitty in a frog suit, Barney’s the beast and Sailor Moon is the harbinger of the apocolypse.
43. Now she has Mountain Dew>>>>>>>>run away>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
44. Why are eyebrows darker than the head on your head?
45. Hurry you can still catch the comet:)
46. Did you go to the Caf.? Bet you got lei’d
47. Punny very Punny.
48. Electricity and Magnetism were just not meant to be described mathematically by young physists.
49. Shut up (Erin) or I will hit you!
50. Oh, little playmate…come out and play with me and bring your dollies three, climb up my apple tree, slide down my rainspout into my cellardoor and we’ll be jolly friends forever more:)
51. Oh little enemy…come out and fight with me and bring you soilders three, climb up my picker tree, slide down my rainspout into my dungeon door and we’ll be enemies forever more:(
52. Miss Susie…..(alright evough of that!!!!!)
53. Erin’s deprived.
54. Not just of sex.
55. Jaime at least got some:)
56. And the rest were celibate.
57. but that’s okay because they believe in God and junk.
58. Neaner’s not gonna like this……
59. Think fast.
60. Spiffy’s inhaling screen printing chemicals….we guess they have the same effect as KILLS in a closed room.
61. Spiffy, I could’ve got you the real thing.
62. It’s time for our daily affirmation, we’re gonna do a good list today, because we are good enough, smart enough, and dog gone it people LIKE US.
63. Egocentric aren’t WE?
64. I’m being swallowed by a Boa Constrictor, ditto, ditto, and I don’t like it very much. Oh no, he swallowed my toe, oh gee, he swallowed my knee…oh heck, he swallowed my neck, oh dread, he swallowed my (gulp!)
65. I wear my pink Pajammas in the summer when its hot….
66. But tonight I’m naked as a new born babe!
67. Where did Erin’s brain cells go? Into the computer screen!
68. Picture pages, picture pages, time to do your picture pages, time to watch Bill Cosby do a picture page with you.
69. Your colon can moo, can you?
70. Taz!!!!!!
71. What kinda day are you having???? Mail us all of your interesting days!!!
72. Guess what? Erin’s on the phone again…
73. 4/17-9:30pm erin said “I don’t want to go to admin.” And the world quaked in fear because the apocolypse is near.
74. Pouty face.
75. Pinwheel, pinwheel spinning around, look through my pinwheel and see what I found.
76. Gotcha last
77. Cartoon Network…Sci-Fi Channel…Weather Channel….why don’t we have a crayola channel.
78. Erin is being the BIGGEST BITCH ON CAMPUS.
79. Cristi: hack…hack, cough…cough, I hate colds.
80. I one the sandbox, I two the sandbox,…I seven the sandbox, I eight the sandbox…EWEWEEEEEEeeeeee
81. Dolly ( the cloned sheep) ate the little lamb:(
82. Mary had a little lamb, a little pork, a little spam.
83. Roses are red, violets are blue, that’s what they say, but it just isn’t true. Roses are red, and apples are too, but violets are violet, violets aren’t blue. An orange is orange, but greenland’s not green. A pinky’s not pink, so what does it mean? To say something is blue when it’s not we defile it. But ah, what the heck? It’s hard to rhyme violet.
84. Guess what!!!!!!!9:34pm-Erin went to Admin. The world is safe once again.
85. Cliche`
86. Trivia: what is a common characteristic of dalmations without spots?
87. Jaime went to get the telephone. the keyboard is mine! mine do you hear me? MINE! Bwa-hahahahahahaahahahahahaahaha!
88. And so he says to me, do you wanna be a bad guy? and I say yeah baby yeah! I wanna be bad! surfs up space ponies! I’m making gravy without the lumps!
89. da-da da-da da dum, dum, i … am … your singing telegram. (BANG!)
90. We’re like the Mounties, we always get our man.
91. Mrs. Peacock was a MAN?!
92. May I say that you’re looking exceptionally lovely? Yes, I know, I know I seem too good to be true, but I’m not. Hows about we go and live happily ever after? … I’m your night in shining armour, baby. Your prince. Your one and only heart’s desire. Hark, I hear true love calling.
93. Cristi’s dog is sick 🙁
94. I do solemly swear to only watch the Ren and Stimpy show. To make rude underleg noises during the good scenes. To wear unwashed leiderhosen every single day for the rest of my life!
95. Paul’s scary.
96. Why, Frank, you’re loosing your hair.
97. Gee whiz.
98. Ring around the rosey: about the plague?
99. The year I was going to graduate.
100. People who watch too much Japanese Anime start quoting and thinking like them…but sorry guys, YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE LAWS OF PHYSICS.

NEANER, CRISTI, JAIME, INSPIRED BY ERIN AND A LINE OR TWO FROM FRANK, I MEAN PAUL.
4/17/97

Ritual Quote List 6

Quotes 4-10-97

1. The Ritual Quote List is NOT to be altered.
2. two storm troopers walk into a bar.
3. I told you, I’m not bent on world domination. I just want the United States.
4. propylactics!!
5. Hi Daddy Paul=)
6. Do not give the SPOAPT caffeine…repeat do NOT givethe SPOAPT caffeine
7. MegaJolt…Caffeine x2
8. Put the Jolt down…step AWAY from the Jolt…
9. Remind people that it’s Listening Awareness Month, then be kind enough
to help them honor it by letting them sit there patiently while you rant
on and on about your views on just about everything.
10. Tomorrow (4/11) is Barbershop Quartet Day!!!
11. When did life get so complicated??
12. Now Grandma’s a person who everyone likes
She bought you a train and a bright shiny bike.
But lately she hasn’t been coming to dinner
And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner.
Now your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru
But the truth is she died, and some day you will too.
13. Liquin is cool!!!! (But don’t sniff too much cause it kills brain cells!)
14. You are so cool, it’s like you’re a Goddess or something
Well, that’s probably because I am a —
15. Why is Erin packing now when she isn’t leaving til tomorrow afternoon?
16. He must decide, he must decide … Even though I made him up he must decide.
17. The comet is STILL visible…catch it while you can!
18. Here’s a little dream I heard, one sunny day as I was out walking
Look there is a silly bird, and a goat who lives his life stalking.
I said the other side, that’s why I believe in balance
But I went an took this ride, what I saw I swore to silence.
19. No time for sin, it bites, livin’ in an Amish Paradise
20. See how pathetic our list is without Jaime? We need Jaime! Where are you Jaime?

… to be continued …

Ritual Quote List 5

List 5

Special Quote List Poll: How Hyper will Cristi get on three giant pixie sticks and a can of jolt?

1. Cristi is a C-A reject
2. A penguin?
3. The Evil Cristi finds the sweet innocent Jaime and attempts to transform her into Evil Jaime! Fortunately, the good and sweet Neaner comes to the rescue of Evil Jaime and changes her back into sweet innocent Jaime. Then with the help of Super Spiffy, she defeats the evil Queen Cristi! The battle was long, but good had triumphed.
4. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball
5. Uh, ya put your weed in there….
6. A bat?
7. Heh heh heh, what’s in the pipe, Santa?
8. It IS the rabbit!
9. Greetings Jack the Druid.
10. We don’t need no stinkin’ patches, we chew nicoderm. ™
11. My dear Uncle Tendo … Octopus Face … an Oompa-Loompa.
12. I’d sooner kiss a wookiee.
13. It’s not my fault.
14. I have a bad feeling about this.
15. Guys! … Hey Guys! … wait up!
16. Well maybe t’s just me, but I believe we’re going to have to get medieval on your buttox.
17. Life is like a box of chocolates … you open it up and most times someones taken a bite out of each and every single one … that’s when I gotta getout my 45 and blow their heads off … That’s all I have to say about that.
18. Convert to Catholicism, We have our own country!
19. Why did you have to hit me? You hurt me you hurt me you hurt me!
20. When my work is finished, I’m coming back for you.
21. Oh no the evil left twin!
22. Big it Medium it and Little it and the Other it … aka us.
23. Jaba walks
24. It’s a rare condition, this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper page.
25. Same sin, half the guilt
26. Become a Protestant … we’re right.
27. When you don’t agree with the church … make a new one.
28. Ripley’s Believe It Or Not … In India statues of cows drink milk.
29. Barnabas Collins.
30. Jalepeno on a stick
31. Alright, this time without the jalepenos
32. I want the potty seat, no I want the potty seat, you can’t have the potty seat, someone might need it.
33. We all have truths, are ours the same as yours?
34. The Evil Leaper
35. Hey, the Easter Bunny ate a kid!
36. What’s da buzz, tell me what’s a-happenin’
37. Don’t touch that! It’s the History Eraser Button!
38. My evil twin has a twin like me.
39. I will finish what I sta
40. One thing I’ll say for him – Jesus is cool.
41. My opera records – Covered with bubble gum! My dinosaur droppings! painted … like EASTER EGGS! My rare, incurable diseases! Violated!
42. 42?
43. Wicket’s got a gun.
44. Climbing on art
45. If I swing over the bar, will I turn into Inside-Out-Girl?
46. Assimilate this
47. Aw shucks
48. squeak
49. Ensign Jones is an immortal.
50. I can see a part of me in you.
51. The world is a vampire
52. why does everything happen in threes?
53. why does everything happen in threes?
54. why does everything happen in threes?
55. Is this too redundant?
56. Is this two redundants?
57. Do you find repetiton annoying?
58. Do you still find repetition annoying?
59. How about now? Is it still annoying?
60. My brain hurts
61. The Princess Pat lived in a tree …
62. What’s That? It’s Pat.
63. It’s is not too late to catch the UFO behind the comet.
64. Race ya there.
65. Fools! It’s in front of the comet!
66. Mulder, time can’t just stop, it’s a universal constant!
67. Not in this zip code.
68. http://www.heavensgate.com
69. spring time –> blizzard –> spring time = PA
70. http://www.landolakes.com
71. sigfried and roy
72. Bowling is Fun … Bring a Friend
73. Rent-a-foot disease
74. go away, nobody here but the FBI’s least wanted
75. do you know what changing water into wine is in the Christian Church?
76. Biblical Kool-Aid
77. After 39 years in the desert, Mrs. Moses secretly asked for direction.
78. cut it out.
79. mellow yellow
80. Tick, you can’t fight Evil with a Macaroni Duck!
81. What do you do when your roommate’s boyfriend’s daughter is older than you?
82. I am Bushroot.
83. It’s not nice to attack people with sharp objects.
84. oh lighten up, Jesus
85. here’s a quarter, buy a clue
86. Some times you want to go where everybody knows your name … and every episode’s the same.
87. Why do people take the laces out of bobos?
88. who’s on the inside hiding out?
89. Latin Latin, who’s got the Latin? – Z-man
90. MJS ABS CMMM JLAAMK
91. The Thorn of Oblivian looks like a giant piece of Candy Corn.
92. Cadbury Eggs are unborn fowl laid by rabbits
93. One on One Ninja Training with accomplished Master, Learn secret Ninjitsu Secrets in your spare time. “I am your Svengali”
94. I’ve got vibes.
95. What is the most violent crime performed on easter bunnies? answer: drive by eggings
96. I feel just like Uncle Wiggly.
97. Unsolved Mysteries
98. Penfold … Shush
99. College Graduate: Will Think for Food.
100. I love you, You love me. Please don’t point that gun at me.

Feedback welcomed. 🙂

Ritual Quote List 4

Quotes 3-20-97

1. you know if this handle wasn’t pink, and it wasn’t made of plastic, and this moon thingy was a blade, this would be a pretty cool weapon. however, since it is made of plastic, and it’s an not edged weapon, and is it pink … it reminds me of a giant ice-cream scoop.
2. Varma must die
3. Don’t light the cat on fire, it annoys the cat.
4. This is in FRENCH!
5. And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those kids and their dog.
6. Cristi has Jolt
7. Dog years? Thanx.
8. In dog years, I’m dead.
9. 10 nights ago while we were all in bed, Mrs O’Leary left a lantern in the shed, and when the cow kicked it over, she winked her eye and said, “It’ll be a hot time in the old town tonight”
10. If a tree falls in the middle of the woods, and it hits a mime, does anyone care?
11. I’m not as think as you high I am.
12. You know you watch too much Star Trek when you know the name of Jean-Luc Picard’s fish (Livingston).
13. Happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy joy.
14. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
15. Care Bear STARE!
16. Care Bear Cousins ROAR!
17. This is more fun than a bed full of bunnies.
18. It’s Freddy the bear!
19. To p chem or not to p chem.
20. That’s very funny, a fly marrying a bumble-bee. I told you I’d shoot! but you didn’t believe me! Why didn’t you believe me?
21. We are siamese if you please … We are siamese if you don’t please.
22. PROJECTILES!
23. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
24. Caffeine caffeine caffeine cafeeine caffeine!
25. Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale …
26. I said a Boom chikka boom!
27. Anime Law # 11 – The Law of Inherent Combustability: Everything explodes. Everything.
28. I don’t know why you hate it so much, but as long as you hate something, they’re not going to like you, either.
29. In space, no one can hear you scream.
30. Falling in love with someone isn’t always a beautiful thing.
31. One way to tell you’re a caffeine addict – you suck on Vibrin rather than tic-tacs.
32. Aunty Em! Aunty Em! It’s a twister, it’s a twister!
33. Flying Saucers are real, the airforce doesn’t exist.
34. Jesus Saves … but Gretzky gets the rebound … He shoots, he scores!
35. Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
36. It’s a cook book! It’s a cook book!
37. Where did Paul and Jaime go?
38. Moo with me!
39. Draw a line in the sand and then make a stand.
40. It’s SPRING today!

Okay, that’s that.
Neaner, Spiffy, Cristi, Erin, Jaime

Ritual Quote List 3

1. My hat!
2. How do you know you are not a figment of my
imagination?
3. If I ignore you will you go away?
4. Crazy, we were crazy once, we still are…
5. Wonderbras set off the metal detectors at the Republican
and Democratic National Conventions.
6. Listen to what I mean not what I say.
7. Erin says that she doesn’t go online much.
8. Who gives a rat’s ass?
9. Why are they called “cellphones” when they also work outside
of cells?
10. I got to embarass Cristi and Neaner and Spiffy and Paul and you and myself
and everybody at diner
11. People don’t realize that pieces of coral when painted brown and attached
with common wood screws can make a child look like a deer.
12. Three men all in black with long black trench coats are the amiable
of men.
13. Are the physics of Star Trek and Anime’ related in any way?
14. The Greatest American Hero
15. The Tarsus( the Dr. Who thing-looks like a phone booth…ya know..)
16. Pinky, if I wasn’t a dairy product I would hurt you.
17. Narf( stolen from Shnarf)
18. Her name is Bambi.
19. A rat does.
20. Next victim….
21. oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo, oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo,
then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up and that’s
how we get Hamburgers. Noooooooooooooooooooowwwww…Chickens!
22. Whatever we teach you, do not believe it because it is not
necessarily true.-First Law of Physics.
23. What would people say when they hear that I’m a Jesus Freak,
what would people do when they find out it’s true?
24. Smashing Pumpkins is not nice to do, Pumpkin is a very nice young man.
25. Despite all my rage, I’m still just a rat in a cage.
26. I found myself in a desert called Cyberland.
27. Jump over the moon but make sure you have a good medical insurance.
28. No other road, no other way, no day but today.
29. SPOON!!!!!!!
30. Not in the face, NOT IN THE FACE!
31. Do you remember silly putty?
32. Everything I say is a lie, in fact, this sentence is a lie.
33. Spinning Wheel turns round and round.
34. Arise! Spin the frost and turn to ice those frozen souls.
I call upon with all that is mine.
Come to me white spirits and dance to the sacred music. Pull free and
chant the songs of old. Change your form into that of an icy white
giant, with magnificent strength, and a body so manly. I shall give
thee a name: Arise Guardian Prince of Snow.
35. I’m hungry and I feel like eating a pig’s head,
does anybody know where I can find me a pig’s head?
36. Beauty wins over Butt Ugly.
37. A bug passage has formed in the space between you! Get away from each other!
38. I’m not wearing any pants.
39. Scooby Doo’s fur is brown, and his spots are black — that’s a fact.
Oh, Scooby Doo tell me true, what exactly is a Scooby snack?
Scooby Doo is cool, Shaggy’s the Man, what are you two doing
in the back of the van?
Daphne looks so pretty with her eyes so green,
Let me take you back to the Mystery Machine.
40. Spam is the thing in the can.
41. Time to Reorder, this block is not valid postage.
42. Poor Mr. Wesley.
43. My name … is Deedlit.
44. Let’s go down to the bar, it’s not that far away from here.
Let’s go down to Cheers and drink a lot of … orange juice.
45. Order Takeout? Is that what you would wish for most?
46. Take two tablets every 4 – 6 hours as needed.
47. I’m normal, it’s the rest of the world that’s weird.
48. Like breeds like.
49. autoerotic is fixiation
50. and our 50th quote is … THERE IS NO 50TH QUOTE!

Okay, so we stopped at 50 this time, we didn’t have enough caffeine tonight.
~Cristi, Jaime, Neaner, and Spiffy

Ritual Quote List 2

1. A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
Wait that’s not how it starts!
2. Theme, theme guess what it is…..
3. Faster, faster, must go faster!!!
4. Please do not fire your guns at the alien spaceship, you may
inadvertantly cause an intergalactic war.
5. Mary, Mary……….Yes………I can see your house from here.
6. No really sir, I think I shall recover.
7. Good Morning, Dave…
8. I didn’t hear no fat lady singin’.
9. It is merely a flesh wound.
10.It’s full of stars……………………..
11.There it is…, behind the rabbit?…It is the rabbit.
12.We are the Knights who say Ni.
13.Not dead yet, I feel fine.
14.HAL-hallucingenitic artifical lifeform.
15.Mine, Mine mine mine mine
16.We want a shrubbery.
17.And they were forced to eat Robin’s minstrel, and there was much rejoicing
Yeah..
18.Bravely, bold Sir Robin…
19.Greenacres is the place to be…..
20.Kill the Wabbit, kill the wabbit, KILL THE WABBIT!!!!!
21.Erin’s gonna loose her job…….
22.M-I-C-K-E-Y L-O-U-S-E(no folks that’s not a typo)
23.Don’t eat the rasinets with legs.
24.Is that a silly little piece of rice or a silly little maggot?
WHACK….Definitly not Uncle Ben’s.
25.Heeeeelllllooooo, Mr. Wilson
26.PEZ
27.I hate broccoli … and yet, in some sense, I am broccoli.
28.We didn’t start the fire, but its great for roasting marshmellows.
29.We are Bablyianiacs…….
30.Here I come to save the day……..
31.It keeps going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going…
32.Doublemint, doublemint gum.
33.My cat is sitting here playing in the dirty laundry….
34.The dirty laundry is winning.
35.Chicken shouldn’t be eaten with the fingers, the fingers should be eaten
separately.
36.Don’t chop logic with me….
37.Pathalogical liars tell the truth all the time in the mirror universe
of our universe.
38.XYZ———-Xamine Your Zipper
39.Ralphy,….I can’t put my arms down.
40.You’ll shoot your eye out kid.
41.Redundancy is the art of idiots.
42.It’s a great big universe and we’re all really puny,
We’re just tiny little specks about the size of Mickey Rooney
It’s big and black and inky, and we are small and dinky
It’s a big universe and we’re not.
43.It’s a cookbook, it’s a cookbook…
44.Do you like my ears up or down.
45.Do the Dew or just do it.
46.Or is it to do the deed?
47.I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts.
48.Will you do it for a Scooby snack?…Two Scooby snacks?…Three?
49.One fish, two fish, Red fish, blue fish.
50.SURGEON: Oops…PATIENT: What you mean ‘Oops’?
51.Beans, beans the musical fruit.
52.Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.
53.Schnarf, schnarf, schnarf….
54.Give me a break, give me a break……
55.Focus, Pinky, focus.
56.I’m in shower and I’m writing this song.
Stop me if you heard it, my skin is soapy and my hair is wet.
And tegrin spelled backwards is nirget.
57.There will be times when you get older,
when you want to sleep with people just to make them like you.
BUT, Don’t…
58.Nobody here but the FBI’s least wanted.
59.They’re here, they’re here albino brainchiggers. Cover your ears.
60.She’s an old lady, I mean look at her, she’s OLD.
Ya can’t just take her stuff. She’s too old.
61.Oh, for crying in the mud, Bobby.
62.I saw an old lady fall down on the sidewalk and I laughed.
Then I thought, what if I were an ant on that sidewalk and she fell on me?
That wouldn’t seem quite so funny.
63.Mosquitos only live for one day, y’know. I guess that means if they
skip breakfast they had a bad childhood.
64.Mr. Wizard’s World
65.Paw Paw Bears
66.Sun, rain, sleet, snow, sun, snow, sun, snow, sun, snow 3/6/97
Kutztown.edu oh yeah wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind
67.Time to make the doughnuts.
68.They Might be Giants, then again they might not.
69.Is it water in the acid or acid in the water.
70.All this can be yours for just $19.95
71.They’re heeeeerrreeee.
72.There can be only ONE.
73.Water go down the hhhoooolllle.
Water came back.
74.El’elator go uuuuuppppPPPPp.
El’elator go down!
I push the button.
75.Clap on *clap, clap*, Clap off *clap, clap*
76.Pickin’ up the field mice and boppin’em on the head.
77.Ob la dee, Ob la da, Life goes on.
78.Did you ever wonder…..?
79.Eat something.
80.We can clone SHEEP!
81.Space aliens meet with Rush Limbaugh.
And encourage him to run for president in 1996
82.no, the earthling is right……Think of something….
This has all been a bad dream, a bad dream.
oooohhh, aliens, scary
This is really scary.
83.This is not happening.
This is not happening.
This is not happening.
This is not happening.
This is not happening.
84.Don’t you think 8 hours of pornos is enough research.
Mulder? Oh research.
85.I am the very model of a modern Major General.
I am the very model of a modern Diplomatic Droid.
I am the very model of a cartoon individual.
My animation’s comical, unusual and whimsical.
86.Mulder there’s something up there.
I’ve been saying that for years.
87.There is no greater luck or good fortune
Than to be reborn with every heartbeat.
88.Macaronni……….
89.He’s dead, Jim
90.Tetsuo!………Kaneda!
91.Thundercats…..hoo.
92.I met him in a swamp down in Dagoba….his name is Yoda.
93.They’re all gonna laugh at you.
94.Can’t we all just get along?
NONONONONONONONONONNONONONONONO!
95.CH Ch ch chia.
96.Skittles, taste the rainbow.
97.Flatulance is combustable.
98.The wheel of time turns and ages come and pass,
Leaving memories that become legend.
99.We have achieved normality, I repeat: We have achieved normality.
Therefore, anything you still can’t cope with
is your own problem.
100.The warm love between a man and a woman
Can’t be frozen like tuna.
101.Now, that’s messed up.

Ritual Quote List 1

“Oh what a tangled web we weave.”
“Hearts are frail and fickle things.”
“Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #1-once you have their money, NEVER give it back.”
“Love comes and goes, but chocolate is forever.”
“If you love something, set it free, if it comes back, it was meant to be; if it doesn’t, hunt it down and kill it.”
“We’re happy little vaginites….”
“MM-ah, went the little green frog one day.”
“Order now, while supplies last.”
“Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #56-Never insult a Ferengi’s mother; insult something they care about.”
“Drink, smoke and be merry for tomorrow we have class…”
“How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?”
“All the other frogs went:’odie odie odie oohh.”
“Helmut, at last we meet, for the first time and for the last time….yeah that’s right…”
“Make it so…”
“Before we fight there is something you must know…I am your father’s brother’s uncle’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.”
“Jan. 19, 1951—The front hook bra is invented.”
“4/4 tater day (potatoe)”
“Use the force….”
“I never made it without biting, ask Mr. Owl.”
“Never open your door to girl scouts selling cookies.”
“What would you do for a Klondike Bar?”
“More taste…….Less Filling.”
“Where’s the Beef?”
“I’ve fallin and I can’t get up.”
“Hakuna Matata”
“We are sending help immediatetly Mrs. Fletcher.”
“Hi-C Cherry is a delious blend of pear and cherry juices from concentrate and other tasty ingredients.”
“James-kun no baka”
“Marque el 1 para instructiones en ingle, o 2 en espanol.”
“Call 1-800-Crayola.”
“1-800-Attends”
“http://www.chicken.com/index.html”
“When in doubt, check admin.”
“The world is plagued by wars..visualize peace; The world is racked with hunger..visualize a sandwich.”
“Voltron, defender of the universe.”
“I’m not flying fast…..just orbiting low.”
“What’s scarier than a locked room full of angry Narns?”
“Centarri have SIX!!!!!!!!”
“Female Menbari do not Menstrate.”
“This note is legal tender for all debts public and private.”
“We’re baaaaaaaaccck.”
“Mulder you’re nuts.”
“They found your bleeping spaceship.”
“A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…Milkshakes were invented.”
“I somewhere high, in another part of Gothem the riddler plans his next move.”
“No one EXPECTS the Spainish inquisition.”
“We are but eight score of young blondes and brunettes all between the ages of 16 and 19&1/2”
“If it’s yellow let it mellow, if it’s brown flush it down…”
“Don’t eat yellow snow.”
“If you’ve got a date in Costantineoble she’ll be waiting in Istanbul.”
“SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING:Smoking by pregnant Women May Result in Fetal Injury, Premature Birth, And Low Birth Weight.”
“France? Forget France the french can be annoying, come to Greece we’re nicer.”
“Rubber Duckie, you’re the One.”
“Mama says, ‘Stupid is as stupid does.'”
“We will return next week same Bat-time, same Bat-channel.”
“Why is anything to the zeroth power equal to One?”
“And nothing else matters……I’ve gotto go……Gotto leave you all behind and face sleep……if I’m not back agian this time tomorrow i went home for the weekend…..”

Brought to you by your local friends from WMJS:
This message was brought to you by the letter T and the number 2.
johny five is NOT dead…….JOHNY FIVE IS ALIVE….
See ya, jaime, neaner and cristi.
compiled on sugar and caffiene, cookies and candy….2/27/97
Copyright pending